Thursday, December 30, 2010

And Now the End...

is near!

Yehey!!

ba-bye 2010! can't wait to leave you together with all the bad vibes I had with you.

kagabi, super EMO ko talaga. hahaha. I heard the song "Wonderful Tonight". I just remember and miss my Papa. He's a big fan of Eric Clapton.

I miss being a Papa's girl. Yung super spoiled and loved talaga nya ko.
Things have changed and lots of circumstances that happened lately made our relationship real cold. And I'm old now..

Papa, I don't know if you'll be able to read this but if you happen to visit my blog, I just want you to know that I love you.

Thank You can never capture all the things you've done just to provide a better and comfortable life for all of us. Until I couldn't find the right term that will, Thank You very much.


Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Matatapos na ang Taon

at eto pa rin ako lutang.
Hindi ako kinakabahan dahil ako ay lutang. Mas kinakabahan ako dahil kampante ako sa pagiging lutang ko. Yung pagiging steady lang ng buhay ko.

Ewan ko ba. Nagapo na ata ng masasakit kong karanasan yung bahagi ng pagkatao kong mahilig lumundag sa hindi sigurado.

Puno na ako ng alinlangan at takot na magtampisaw sa tubig na galing sa ulan kasi baka acid rain yun o di kaya maraming bad bacteria at germs.hahaha.

Kung mayroon man akong New Year's resolution, bukod sa New Life's Resolution ko na ilang pahina rin iyon, siguro eto yung mga sumusunod:

1. Magiging matapang na ulit ako.
2. Hindi na ako magtatamad-tamad.
3. Muli akong babalik sa track ng buhay na gusto kong tahakin at gustong tahakin ko ng aking mga magulang.
4. Hindi ako papabuyo sa mga sinasabi ng iba.Bagkus, pakikinggan at rerespetuhin ko ang kanilang mga opinyon.
5. Sisikapin kong maging isang tunay na Pilipino sa isip sa salita at sa gawa.

So help me, God.

On a lighter note,
- kukumbinsihin ko ang sarili kong wag maging impulse buyer para sa mga post its at sticky notes na magaganda. hindi iyon ang purpose nang paggawa sa kanila. marami na akong ganyan.

-ang tanging hiling ng mga taong mahal ako ay umayos ako. Sa dami ng palpak ko sa kanila, di na sila nag-eexpect nang malaki. Well, at some point, okay yun sa akin. Mas madaling magtake ng risks. Sabi nga ng prof ko, "worst thing had happened to you so no reason to be scared." hehe. If I learned or at least tolerate the pain, what are the things I cannot risk to do? Parang wala na ata.

-alagaan ang sarili. Inside and out. Ekai, remember, 5 years. 5 years. 5 years. Sorry Jenna, wala kang isang libo sa akin dahil matutupad ko yun. God will definitely help me.

-Dapat puro update na nang accomplishments ang mga isusulat ko starting 2011. Ang mga pangako sa sarili at goals in life,Hindi mahinto at matapos ang lahat sa papel o sa blog. Stop typing, JUST DO IT.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Malamig ang Pasko

Literally and figuratively.

For the longest time, I forgot writing about very trivial and light stuff. I don't know if it comes with age but I just miss being naive and innocent about the cruelties of the world.

Naalala ko tuloy yung kantang I love it When You Call
"...hearts getting broken making people grow in cold"
Siguro nga ganun. When you get numb of the heartache, you thought you're okay. In reality, you've grown cold. You stop imagining. You limit your horizons. Ang hirap nun kung tutuusin. But when you get used to it, you'll just notice one day how boring your life is and how you stop taking risks. You'll miss being in love.

Sa ngayon, I have to deal with it.The cold and the emptiness.Part of the consequences of the choices I made in the past. However...

Let me assure you, I start imagining again. :-)